Nastinos

Hello handsome people.

With Muse about to drop their 5th studio album “The Resistance” there are going to be a lot of people writing a lot of words about them this coming month and, in true ’sheep with a keyboard’ style, i’m going to be one of those people!

Now, to try and retain some degree of originality, rather than looking at the new album, or simply being another voice in the crowd saying how amazing their live show is (their live show is amazing by the way!), I’m going to have a bit of a look backwards at some remixes of Muse songs and  present those un/lucky few with their very own MRA! (Muse Remix Award)

Retro Remix Award

Muscle Museum – Soulwax Remix

First up is the retro remix award and the winner is the genius’ that are Soulwax. Muscle Museum from Muse’s first album Showbiz is given an uplifting errrm… uplift from the belgian mixing masters. The mix stays true to the original song’s format, but replaces guitars for electronics and ups the tempo , the result is a, blistering, very danceable 3:45 seconds, even if it does compromise on some of the epic power of the original.

The Award For Stopping A Muse Song Sound Like A Kylie Song

Uprising – Does It Offend You, Yeah? Remix

Uprising, some people like the new single, some people dislike it, others think it’s decent but sounds too much like something kylie should have released. Well, this special award for ’stopping a muse song sound like a Kylie song’ goes to the ’squiggly boosh whheeyyy’ noise making 5-piece Does It Offend You, Yeah? This fantastic effort is one of the few mixes that is better than the original and is considered good enough to appear on the Uprising single. Stick with it through the first 1m07s and you will be rewarded.

The Genre Bending ‘Win’ Award

Supermassive Blackhole – Emre B remix

Up now is the award for the best genre bending remix and the winner is this effort from Turkish born Emre B (no, it’s not the footballer).

Now, those of you reading this are likely to be Muse fans, and if that’s the case there is a fairly good chance you won’t be into your electro house dance music and hence, probably will think that he has murdered this track with the remix. However, we here at the MRAs are not genre prejudice and can appreciate a good remix when we hear one! I have to admire the way he completely overhauls the track yet retains the elements which give the song it’s identity.

The Ridiculous Award For Most Boring Trance Remix

New Born – Paul Okenfold Mix

Now, as stated, we here at the MRAs are not genre prejudice and can appreciate a good remix when we hear one. That said, we also recognise a remix which, after making a mockery of our hearing, moves onto our other senses and makes us want to stab our eyes out for some reason. Yes, it’s that bad.

The ‘Makes Matt Bellamy Sound Most Like Gareth Gates’ Award

Knights Of Cydonia – Ocelot Remix

A clear winner in this category, it’s American electro house mixers Ocelot. An ok effort, but lost out in the ‘Genre Bending Win’ category because, apart from the vocals, it really retains next to nothing of the original track. It has a decent build up, but it doesn’t take too long for all that stuttering to get on your nerves, after the first minute, the next 4 are pretty painful listening.

The ‘Ear Rape’ Award For The Most Ridiculous Sound I Have Heard This Year

Unintended – MG Remix (Jirob)

This was also considered for the ‘Genre Bending Win Award,’ this was of course before I remembered that crap isn’t a genre. I’ll give it what due I can, the first 24 seconds are quite interesting, you’re just not sure where it’s going to go. Unfortunately, when it get’s where it’s going, I would personally rather be anywhere else. How he manages to turn Matt Bellamy’s voice into something so annoying is surely a great acheivement.

Special Award For 2 Things Which Should Always, At All Costs, Be Kept Apart Forever (this award is sponsored by The Gallagher brothers)

When You Were A Starlight – team9

Yes, the Muse Remix Awards are branching out to name and shame annoying mashups . .  and here one is! team9 is the work of producer Neil Mason who comes from Perth, Australia.

In all fairness, technically it sounds quite good, it flows well and even has a bit of a wah wah wah  wah wah noise around 1m35s, so, what’s the problem? Well, to put it in colour terms: red and green are both lovely colours, nice and vibrant and enjoyable however, when you mix them together you get a shitty brown.

Amazing Award For Ultimate Achievement Of Outstanding Remix

Map Of The Problematique – Does It Offend You, Yeah? Remix

The most coveted of all MRAs, the ‘Amazing Award For Ultimate Achievement Of Outstanding Remix.’ With their 2nd award, the winners are the excellent ‘whooop whurrrr screeechy ting bang’ noise makers Does It Offend You, Yeah? Once again, like their Uprising remix, this appeared on the single of the original, and once again, retains most of what makes the original charming, but transforms it into something just have to pull some shapes to.

So, that draws a line under the MRAs for now. There are other remixes out there, if you know of any you think I should have included let me know in the comments!